Here Again

Sorry I haven't been on POW. I spent last week working and the week before that in Watertown.

Do you ever feel like you've just gone in a big circle? That's certainly how I've been feeling this past week. I'm doing the temp factory work I tried really hard to avoid doing, I still spend most of my time at Copper Rock and not being very social, and my future is still uncertain as ever. This is exactly what my first summer was like in Appleton.

But in the end, I guess the differences are important. Which are-

A. I'm working at a different temp company that seems to have more than two office workers and isn't run in utter incompetence.

B. I'm sans doomed relationship with manchild.

C. Degree mofo!

And it's really not so bad to be here when it comes down to it. Though watching Paul shop for his dorm room and Emily shop for her apartment does make me jealous. I miss having my own apartment. There's nothing like having your own little space to decorate and take care of. Even if it does have a shitty, shitty carpet (like my last apartment).

I applied to three more jobs yesterday (all newspapers) and I'll try to do some more tomorrow. I was going to do it today, but we went birthday shopping for my sister. She's twenty. Yay!

In happier news, I think I've finally forgiven my ex. Sometime during the last two weeks all my anger dried up. Though there was a moment last week when I was drunk and with my friends and this wave of sadness hit me. I had to go to the bathroom and just cry for a little bit.

But, generally, thinking about him doesn't make me angry anymore. Our relationship just didn't work out and that's fine. I don't think I'm ready to start dating for a while though. I want to get some things in order before I drag another person into my life. (Because clearly by "dating" I mean "kidnapping someone to play games with me." Yes, I do miss that about having a boyfriend. Especially one with more money than me and buys all the Mass Effect games.)

Also, my brother got Grand Theft Auto IV and I've been playing it non-stop. Laugh if you will, but the story is actually really good. And it's fun as hell even though you run over ten pedestrians every time you do a U turn.

After getting it, I assured my mom that while video games can desensitize you to violence that it wouldn't have any effect on me. Of course, now every time I see a police car I think "I shouldn't hit a pedestrian here otherwise I'll have to drive away from them recklessly to lose my wanted level." And, I have to admit, I was waiting for my mom to pick me up from work the other day and I thought, "I wish she would get here" immediately followed by "maybe I could just steal that Buick across the street and drive home."

VIDEO GAMES HAVE NO EFFECT ON ME! YOU SPEAK NOTHING BUT LIES!

Well, I know that eventually I'll get a job I want and move somewhere else and everything will be great. Until then, being here is okay. This is a good place to push off from.

I love all of you. I hope I see you soon.