I'd love to hear your lists as well if you feel so moved to post below. :) Here we go.
Needs:
Stability-Watching my sister date a lot of bipolar people makes me realize that it's hard to date someone who can't take care of themselves. Everyone has problems, and I don't mind dealing with problems, but I want someone who is capable of helping me back.
Humor- Someone who gets my humor, who can make me laugh, and who I can make me laugh. I don't know why this isn't higher on other people's lists. It's so important.
Having Conversations, Not Arguments- This is probably the most important on the list. Especially after my time with Will "Guitar Hero is Just as Hard as Playing Guitar" Roberts. Sometimes when I bring something up I just think it's an interesting idea. I don't want to go on trial for it.
Emotional Intelligence- Someone not actively try to repress their emotions would be just fantastic.
Nerdy- At least in some way. It would be hard to date a non-nerd, I think.
SEX DRIVE- I am not kidding. For serious. Let's get on that.
Can Say They Love Me- 'Nuff said.
Patient/Caring Lover- I want someone that's willing to put in the time to make a good sexual relationship work. I also want someone that makes me feel secure.
Affectionate/Good with Moderate Amounts of PDA- I'm Greek, okay. We hug and kiss people all the time. I want someone who wants to hold hands with me in public. (Looking at you Will.)
Cool with Religion (also atheism)- I realize this one is insane. My experience with Jackson The Shouty Militant Atheist has taught me that I just don't have time for people that believe Christians are self righteous bigots. However, I'm also an atheist and don't want to be converted. So . . . I guess that'll be a tough one.
Cares About Social Issues- They don't have to be Mother Theresa, but I want them to care about the state of the world and its people. Someone who's into news and politics would also be nice.
Socially Liberal- I know this sound hypocritical after I just said open minded, but it would just be too hard to date someone that isn't a social liberal. I think I could be happy with someone who's fiscally conservative, but when it comes to LGBT issues especially I don't want to have to fight with someone all the time about that. It would be tiring.
Sensitive to Women's Rights- They don't have to be a feminist. I would love it, but they don't have to be. However, I don't want someone who's going to tell me a bunch of jokes about women all the time because they know it makes me mad. Even if they're being ironic. I just don't like it.
Likes to Watch Movies/Reads Books- I love watching movies so much. Honestly, it's almost more important to me than the book reading thing which is sad I know it. We have to be able to watch movies together otherwise the relationship just won't work.
Wants:
Likes to Dance/Sing- Will didn't like to dance and it always made me so sad. I'm not much of a dancer, but I still love to do it.
Romantic- Just a little. On anniversaries and Valentine's Day is enough. A bouquet of flowers and a card isn't too much to ask for once a year, is it?
Plays Video Games- this is less important than movies, but it would still be nice if they were interested in video games.
Does Something Creative- They don't have to write (I think it would be fascinating/hellish to date another writer, but it's probably better if I don't), but it would be nice if they played an instrument, painted, did wood shop, something.
Can Cook- Okay, this is hypocritical because I am not a fantastic cook. But I would learn. What can I say, I love a man that can cook.
Must Have (Surprise Third Category!):
I'm a Priority- This last one is the big thing I realized was missing from my relationship with Will. I don't want someone who tolerates having me around. I want someone who wants me around them. Who begs to have more time with me. Who misses me when I'm away. When I was talking to my mom, she figured out a good word for it; cherished. I want someone who cherishes me.
I think I deserve that much.
Dearest and loveliest Cerasi (I like using our screen names!),
ReplyDeleteYou deserve all of that. And so much more. Because you're beautiful, wonderful, and friggin' hell, you're so much fun! Gawrsh--WHY ARE WE SEPARATEEEEED?
Funniest thing, I was reading through my old diaries the other day, and I came across a list of things I wanted in a potential partner. I'll share them with you sometime. They are quite funny!
You'll find someone who deserves you <3 You know it, and I know it, so there's really no reason to say it over and over. And hey, if we're 40 and no prospective lovers/partners...what say you and I become roommates? :3 ahhaha!!
That all seems pretty reasonable to look for. Especially the caring about you, says he loves you, makes you a priority stuff. That should be non-negotiable.
ReplyDeleteNow I will randomly respond to your specifics: I agree, dating a writer would be fun and terrible and you'd probably end up writing about each other if it ends badly. (Also, the question of skill comes into play, will he be sensitive if you're clearly superior or -gasp- get published and he doesn't?...)
The religion thing might be most important when you decide to get marriage serious about each other. As in, how you'll raise the kids. But as long as you don't argue about it, it might be ok for them to not be atheist or Christian or whatever, while dating at least.
I agree with humor. Also, being a bit of a nerd. And maybe not taking yourself too seriously? I think this quality comes out of both these points.
Oi. Politics. I know I'd get along swimmingly with someone who has the same ideas and ideals as I do.
Stability for me almost goes without saying, kinda. He should have his shit together. On this note I'd add another: has goals. I'm always working towards something. He doesn't have to be working towards the same thing as me but he has to be working. (You can paint, landscape, compose, whatever, you just have to be doing something.) Nothing (almost nothing, really) burns my ass more than people who aren't doing anything. Who sit on their ass all day, playing video games or doing nothing productive. I guess I'm just too type-A to be with someone like that.
I also call dibs on the roomies when we're 40 if nothing goes to plan. <3