Very Tired.

No, not very tired, I'm exhausted.  To continue the quote from Dead Poets Society, not very sad, morose.  

Not very upset, absolutely livid, pissed off, aghast, disappointed, distressed, and disconcerted.

My lovelies, it has been two years.  Well, nearly.  Two years since our commencement and journey into the real world.  It’s had its ups, it’s downs, and now it’s déjà vu. 

I completed my workday on Friday like any other.  I filled out my temp timecard, submitted it, and logged out of the computer programs. 

I got a phone call some minutes after I arrived home.  After my 45 minute drive, which I drove uncomplainingly five days a week for six months.  It was the temp agency. 

“They don’t want you to come in on Monday.”

It’s unbelievable right?  I had been told by everyone who hired me this was a temp to perm position.  They have so much work, they need somebody full-time.  We’re always so busy.  How can we ever get all of this stuff done?

But, no.  Somebody lied.  Not sure who along the way.  My boss’s boss who got sacked a month ago?  My manager?  The HR manager that talked to the temp agency?  The temp agency themselves?  Or maybe it was the CEO.  Who talks a big game, of bringing back bonuses at the company-wide meeting, of creating quarterly incentives for efficiency, of a yearly bonus at 3-5% of your annual salary.  Yeah, that’d be great.  If I got a salary. 

I’m back in the same boat I was two years ago.  Well, maybe not exactly, I have solid design skills, 2 years experience, and cynicism to melt rocks. 

Right, I’ve always had that last one. 

I did nothing wrong.  They said, I did everything wonderfully.  They loved having me, my work was superb, blah, blah, blah.  They just didn’t have it in the budget.  Right.  The guy who sits in the cube next to me, who was hired in January, three months after me; however, there was room for.  He was hired on with a salary, full-benefits, and all that crap.  Yeah, but you, not so much. 

It could be a good thing.  I always knew that company was not a long-term place for me.  I knew there was little growth in the position I had.  I knew I didn’t want to  do what I did there forever. 

Looking back, there wasn’t anything I didn’t do to try to keep my job.  I went above and beyond there to help my saleslady to up her sales numbers.  But now, I guess they might be thinking about giving her the heave-ho too. 

It seems the only thing I should have been doing was look for another job.