Since I just left a long and lengthy comment on Ada's poem (this is the first time I saw it, sorry it took me so long to respond) I felt it was only fair if I presented a poem too.
This is not the way it looked originally because Blogger is anti-poetry. It donates millions of dollars each year to the anti-poetry fund, I swear to god. (YES SUCH A THING EXISTS!) However, I've done my best to restore it to it's original formatting. Give me comments, I appreciate them.
- <3 to my POWers.
Kids Today
I feel myself being drained and I am
only 22.
but my years are so much longer than those of others
and there is a light year between me and those in high school,
who can remember that?
A time when now, it seems, everyone is involved in
blowjob bracelets and
rainbow parties and
underwear sacrosanct and
graduating with degrees in labia-ology with an emphasize in cervix memorabilia.
Those girls, those girls.
what whores, I imagine them to be.
Me and my friends were never engaged in such effigiac turmoil,
none of this pot and booze and clitoral movie nights!
What happened to a simpler time
when we would all just sit at home
and whine about being unlovable?
That’s how a girl should grow up, by god!
I can't really explain why, but when I first read this poem I teared up.
ReplyDeleteUpon my second reading, I have similar reaction. Though I didn't actually tear up this time. I think it's because I feel so close to the speaker and have many of the same feelings and opinions.
And, you will be proud Cerasi, I get a very Ginsberg-feel from this poem. I think it's partly because of the graphic language, but it's also reminiscent of his themes. It's very elegiac and reminiscent while being disturbed about the present.
And I'm very sorry about the Blogger-death-formatting. There are other blogging and website formats that are better for specifically formatted poetry, but those are a little trickier to use than Blogger.
Anyway, I like how raw the poem is. However, the title reminds be of a song from 'Bye Bye Birdie'... "Kids! What's the matter with kids today? Kids! Never listen to what we say! Why can't they be like we were? Perfect in every way. What's the matter with kids today?"
(If you're interested: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wCXr_6wgns )
Cerasi,
ReplyDeleteI absolutely, positively ADORE your third stanza. As Allya previously mentioned: it gives me the feeling of Ginsberg, and you know how much I adore Ginsberg.
The feeling of the poem as a whole is very real to me, but I wonder if that's because I can see us in this poem. haha, and some of the conversations we have regarding us.
Your second stanza, though, doesn't feel as smooth to me. There's the possibility that because you have such a Ginsberg feel starting from the third stanza, the second one seems out of place, and even out of beat. I wonder if it's the way you broke up the stanza that makes me feel as if it drones on.
Also, the line "what whores, I imagine them to be"--I feel like it would be interesting if you left out the "what" at the beginning. It gives it a more personal, catty feeling. Like when I see those girls, I don't think "what whores!", I think "WHORES!" ahahaha. But that miiiight just be me.
I love this poem. It's raw, emotional, almost reflective, and it makes me feel like I haven't seen you all in forever (even though I totally did last weekend.)
I <3 you all so very much.
Thank you for your comments, you guys. I'm glad that I could share this poem with you. I feel so blessed to have such positive female friends in my life. <3
ReplyDelete@Allya- Yeah, I think you're right about the title. Now that you've said that I can't unsee it. I think I'll change it . . . eventually. Damn, titling poems is difficult.
@Ada- I see what you mean about the second stanza. It is partly because the third stanza goes all crazy, but does it something to do with the fact that I end the second stanza in a question? Maybe I should try breaking it up different or maybe making it three lines instead of two or even rewrite it and make it shorter and punchier.
The suggestion about taking "what" out of that line is interesting. I'll try it out. Because girls today are just WHORES WHORES WHORES!!