And what am I reprieving myself from? Well, I'm glad you asked. Here are he words and phrases I'm exciting to ban from my vocabulary and why I hate them.
- Branding Opportunity: It means (and I quote) to, "put our company shit on shit" and it's pointless.
- ROI (Return on Investment): This is how we tell if what we're doing is making money. Which we can't do because we don't track anything. Which doesn't matter because we're not making money. SUCCESS!
- Company Culture: FUCK the words "company culture." If you ever apply to a place that brags about its "company culture" be prepared to be faced with a lot of miserable employees that have been beaten to death with buzzwords.
- "Marketing Should Drive the Ship": Okay, but how do we-
- "Marketing Should Be Sales Support": But I thought you just said-
- "Marketing Should Take Control": We're trying, but you keep-
- "Why Isn't Marketing Getting Anything Done?": BECAUSE OF BULLSHIT LIKE THIS!!!
- "Why is Grace daydreaming about tearing down all the posters and running through the halls screaming Alan Ginsberg's 'Howl'?": Just kidding, they don't say this . . . but they should . . . and they will . . .
In other news, work has actually been okay recently. Things are calming down. I just thought it would be funny to write this post. And it is! At least, I think it is. And that's what really matters.
Love you and miss you all. <3
First off, I am so sorry for not seeing this sooner.
ReplyDeleteSecond, can I be there when you are running through the halls reciting 'Howl'? Because I want to do that too. And then you can come to my work and we'll do the same thing!!!!
Work kinda sucks. Like really sucks. But they give you paychecks twice a month. And that keeps you going back and doing the things.
I'm so glad that you can say goodbye to these terms and to an unfulfilling job. I wish you every success in grad school!
Much love, dearest Cerasi!
<3
Boo corporate culture impeding creativity!
ReplyDeleteHave fun in grad school where you will find a whole new jargon