Did we just become best friends?

 As I’m sure you know, I’ve had a bit of a problem of late. And that would be the lack of friends I have in the general vicinity of where I live.  The people I’m closest too are flung across the country (and world).  When the closest friend I had made after college moved from my Midwest locale to the eastern seaboard, I was left generally alone. 

It wasn’t too bad for a while.  I had a shit-ton of work to keep me busy for the first couple months, and then I was making and selling lots of jewelry, and then it was the holidays.  After that, spending time with family and going to YR events kept me occupied.  But it wasn’t the same.  I didn’t really have anyone that I would go see movies with or go shopping or drinking. 

I mean, other than my mom.  We saw Guardians of the Galaxy last weekend, and that was lovely.  But you know what I mean. 

Last night I went to a YR happy hour expecting it to be the usual outing.  Meet up with like-minded people.  Hope new, reasonable attractive guys wander in.  Act like I have some semblance of a social life. But last night was more like the happy hours I went to when my friend J lived here.  A happy hour that rolls into a nine-hour jaunt at three different bars.

I met two girls, actually my age, and after grabbing dinner at the initial HH location, we went to another bar in Soulard.  A couple strawberry ciders later, and I think it’s a grand idea for us to go to Ballpark Village downtown.  So the three of us cab it there and party it up. 

C generously offered B and I accommodations for the night at her apartment.  Which is lucky, because I didn’t need to drive the 45 minutes home after the festivities.

And I couldn’t help it.  As I settled on to her couch to catch 6 hours of sleep, I thought finally.  I’ve made some new friends.

I mean dancing it up until 3 am, watching C ride a mechanical bull, meeting a soccer player from Scotland, and making eyes at every cute guy on the dance floor, makes you friends, right?

Belonging

I'm gonna say it:  I don't feel like there's a place I belong anymore.

I've talked to Cerasi and Cylon about this a bit, and I think it's because I don't have any real friends here to hang out with.  Since K fell off the face of the earth, or whatever, I haven't really hung out with anyone.  I've gone to the monthly Young Republican meetings and Happy Hours, but most of them are 30 and have their own circle of friends.

I had my first day at my new internship yesterday (which seems like it will be a LOT better, they're all really nice), and when one of the ladies who worked there asked me what I was doing this weekend, what was I going to do for Halloween?  I didn't have an answer.  For the first time, I didn't have plans for Halloween.  I thought I might be babysitting this Saturday, but my little cousins have something else to do.

I've always had a small, close circle of friends.  (As opposed to my social butterfly of a little brother.)  As I've moved from school to school, Memphis to St. Louis, this trend has continued.  But each time I moved I got a different group, and kinda left the old one behind.  I was terrible about keeping in touch.

This never really bothered me, until I realized as I come back to STL that I don't have anyone left here that I'm really close to.  I tried to get together with a friend from high school over the summer.  After she canceled three times in a row I gave up.  As high school was wrapping up, a different friend stopped calling.  Another hs friend facebooked me a couple times freshman year in college just to ask a question about what book I used during our calculus class together, so she could get it for her sister.

I wonder if it's me.

And then I wonder how I can find a new group of friends here.  How do you make friends after you're done with school?  I'm realizing it's so effing hard.

I have other stuff going on, and that's kind of fulfilling (starting a business, interning) but since I can't hang out with you guys, I don't seem to have anyone else to.  And it's proving really challenging to change that.

Maybe I'll try to find some writing buddies here, too, since that common interest lead to some lovely friendships.  <3

Anyway, sorry this was a downer of a post.  Love and miss you all!