Caution: Geese Nesting

I drive up to the roof of the parking structure.  It's a Monday and finally a nice day in March.  We've had a horrible winter and I want to enjoy as much of the outdoors as I can.  Even if it's only as I walk into the office building in the morning and out in the evening. 

But I am greeted by beady eyes.  Black.  Soulless.  The small head pivots as I drive by the median in the middle of the parking lot: it’s new perch.  It’s watching me.

I watch back as I gather my bags from the safety of my car.  Keeping it’s gaze, I slide out of my vehicle.  The connection is broken as I walk around my car.  It’s not that far to the glass door of the stairwell. 

I walk out into the open of the rooftop parking.  Making a break for the stairs.  But I don’t run.  What if it gets spooked?  What if it flies at me, beating those gray wings the pointed black beak aiming for my face? 

Don’t geese attack people?  The thought pounds in my head.

But we just stare.  I reach the door and safety.  The stairwell is enclosed by glass paneling.  I won’t see open air until I’m down a level on the ground ready to cross the street to my office building.  And the goose won’t see me.  As long as he doesn’t move.  And he doesn’t.

Monday Evening

It has been another day at work, and I forgot about the staring contest from the morning until I step outside again. 

Surely he’s not still there.  Surely. 

I am sure when I am inside the glass of the stairwell on the roof.  No goose.

Driving to the gym, which is in another office building in the corporate park where I work, I forget again. 

I decide to go for a jog outside today.  It’s still beautiful outside and after how cold it’s been, I’m longing to be outside. 

I’ve never run the trails that connect the handful of offices.  Or half-run / half-walk as I actually do.  It’s intervals.  And I get tired.

I’m walking around the lake easing into a jog as I approach a downward slope.  Okay, maybe I do most of my running downhill.  And I see the sign.  Caution Geese Nesting. With a silhouette of a goose.  In case I had never seen one.

Wouldn’t that have been nice to know eight hours ago.

pretty sure I'm doing it wrong

So I'm pretty sure I'm doing this dating thing wrong.  Or something.

I've gone on a few dates with this one guy I met at a bar/coffee shop/ restaurant.  Our last date ended awkwardly.  Mostly because of a comment he made after we kissed for the first time.  Maybe a little because I'm the generally awkward person that I am.

Anyway, after we haven't had any contact.  I was unhappy at the comment he made, so I thought, fine YOU text me if you want.  Oh, I forgot to mention, I was the one to initiate texting and hanging out and such after he initially asked me out.  Which I thought was weird.  Or at least I hoped he would text first if he still wanted to see me.

But he hasn't.

And the weirder thing is, I'm kind of okay with it.  I should clarify that it's not that I didn't want him to call.  But.  I'm not sure I really clicked with him.  He was nice enough.  And it was really lovely being taken out to dinner and even getting my ass kicked at bowling.  But.. I don't know, it's hard to articulate.  Because whatever is supposed to be there, was not.


But wait - dear reader - there's something else I'm doing wrong.  Horribly wrong.  I actually have a pretty bad track record with this.

Being attracted to unavailable guys.

There was this guy I met at a happy hour a couple weeks ago.  And he's kinda cute and a doctor and a ginger and has just a touch of a Southern twang.  Oh, and he's got a girlfriend.

Well, Valentine's Day I went to this event at a bar.  And he and his girlfriend were there.  And god, we just got along so well.  He laughs at my jokes and we are both excited for Mardi Gras and… that thing that wasn't there with the other guy, it's there.  Or at least I think it is.

But like I said, he's got a girlfriend.  And she's this tiny adorable little thing that kinda makes me sick.  But she's actually really nice.  And she laughs at my jokes apparently too.  (The three of us got tacos at this magically wonderful taco place after drinks.)  So it's strange.  Cause I can't quite hate her.

So anyway.  That's what's going on with me right now.  Looking for love and I'm pretty sure I'm doing it all wrong.

January will end soon

Hey,

Sorry I have been gone. Graduate school applications, work, and personal issues were really tying up what little time I had. Exacerbate this with the holidays and it was a clusterfuck of sleep deprivation.

My main reason for posting this is to tell you guys I was in car accident last month that totaled my car and gave me really painful injuries. My friends kid was in the car and sent to the hospital. I have a bruised stomach, whiplash, and a slipped disc in my lower vertebrae. Tomorrow I am going to physical therapy and am on muscle relaxers. I am doing much better than a month ago when I was on bed rest and could not leave the apartment.

Now I am a month behind on graduate school apps that are due February 1st. After that time and more recovery I will be well enough to post quality stuff. My new years resolution was to read more and write more. Will definitely follow through on that.

Just need to keep telling myself: January will soon be over.

Skype soon,
Cylon

Two black gloves.

Two black gloves.  They are calm and sure.  And deadly.  Or they were.  Two minutes ago.  In the lower level.  Where screams of agony would go unheard and cries for mercy unnoticed.

There is a spot of blood on the left wrist.  It will dry and become a part of the black leather.

In the elevator now.  The right pointer directs it up to the surface.  Now they fold and rest.  And wait for the elevator to glide up a few floors.  Plain beige walls slip by in the windowed box.  Then the atrium appears.  Pink granite floors graced with leafy plants.

The gloves unfold as the elevator dings open.  They swing towards the closest revolving door.

Not a soul left in the building.

Gloves grasp the chilled bar of the door and push.  Turn, turn, turn.  The chillier air greets and the gloves are enveloped into the black of the night.

The Mountains

Okay, so I should probably be honest.  I saw a picture in a store with this quote, and thought I could do that.  I could do that with a picture I've taken.  So I did.  

This is the view from the hostel I stayed at in Queenstown, New Zealand.

Fantasy

Another designed quote.

- George R. R. Martin

Disdain - Perfected

She has the look of disdain

perfected

Heavy lids shield her eyes

from me

and my antics

Boredom seeps from her visage

And her often animated,

bright, yellowish-green eyes

are dull

The rest of her body

is curled up

guarded

None of my frivolity

will affect

She turns her head away

as I croon

mock her stance

She is unaffected

I reach to chuck

under her chin

playfully

She will have none of that

She sashays away

her fluffy tail

up in the air

like her nose