Okay, this isn't actually about beating anything, much less a dead horse. I meant to post these in February, but close enough. These poems are ones that I've written about K, a person who I have mentioned on here before, and it feels like I keep beating a dead horse by talking about it. But it's been bothering me, so here they are:
10/29
Ships pass in the night
Now, we seem to only pass
in the dark, unseeing
Ships graze but keep moving
We don't stop anymore or
at least
you don't, to say hi or
make eye contact
Ships almost collide
We've had so many near misses
so many almost-conversations
we only almost connect, now
Ships creak
I try to signal, to initiate
to flag you down
Ships glide
But you keep going
without noticing my attempts
Ships pass in the night
And I wonder why
we've become ships
passing in the night
11/23
Cleanse
I wash
my fingers
now
of this sticky
mess
of this
stale
mate
now that you
are so
stale
now
I rinse
my mind
as far
as I
can reach
even though
it's not
all
gone
it will never
really
be gone
I detox
my diet
of texting
and trying
and waiting
I clean
you
from
my life
2/13
Valentines is on the brain
hearts and lovers and mushy crap
Never had a Valentine on Valentines
but whatever
I didn't need one this Valentine
I'm fine right now - or so I thought
You left your house as I arrived
a simple thing - a chance encounter
And I felt a tear deep inside
that fictional heart - that cracks in the center
You were here, you haven't completely
moved away - you see your dad
You are 50 feet away
as you back your navy Civic down the drive
A rush of feeling, instead of blood,
comes pouring from my center
As you drive away
10/29
ReplyDeleteI liked the imagery in this one--'ships in the night' and the re-occurrance of the ships as the description of the deterioration of the relationship continues. And the last sentence of the last stanza really pulls at the heartstrings. <3
11/23
I LOVE this format. Choppy, but not altogether disorganized and chaotic. It really goes well with the words "sticky mess"~ Lovely, lovely. Works well with the cleansing! I think it would be interesting if perhaps you started with chaos, and as you cleanse, the structure becomes less chaotic? Just a thought :3
2/13
This one is interesting because you mention Valentine's Day, though it's not necessarily about the problems between two lovers, but two friends. I like that because Valentine's Day isn't only about lovers, but just about the people who surround you and love you (or don't love you--whatever). However, the implication of "I didn't need one this Valentine
I'm fine right now - or so I thought" wouldn't immediately have me think about a problem between two friends, but two misunderstood ex-lovers. Perhaps it was meant to be that way, but with background knowledge, it's hard to see whether or not you're talking about lovers or friends. Perhaps after some brief clarification (unless you're talking about two lovers, in which case, you can keep it the way it is), the message of your poem can really come to life :)